My dear loyal readers, please brace yourselves. This post is real , raw and personal to me.
Every year, like most of you people out there, I try to “better” myself by imposing crazy expectations and restrictions on myself in the belief that I will be happier, more fit and of course find my inner peace. Isn’t that what we all want ? Inner peace 🙂
Some of my go-to resolutions in the past have been:
learn to use Photoshop
and of course my favourite , stop eating cake for breakfast!
No wait the torture doesn’t end there I have more:
work on communicating better with my family and friends
do more charity work
bake and ice a 7 layer cake
be a mentor to youths in the community
become CPR certified.
Out of these 9 resolutions that I have made in the past few years, I have committed to only one and that’s to do more charity work. The other day my husband burst my bubble and told me that its not technically charity work if the recipients are your kids, but in my defence it’s still my time I’m sacrificing for others sooo potatoe, batata whatever man!
To add salt to my wounds, I haven’t stopped eating cake for breakfast or exercised more. Actually, this is really screwed up but I have exercised less this year and ate MORE cake than I did last year and I still haven’t learned to use those cool photoshop tools that make my waist look smaller, my butt bigger and legs longer. No seriously, I still haven’t learned how to do any of that and I’m freaking out!.
How hard is it to watch a youtube tutorial on Photoshop and apply the techniques to my photos? Everyone else on Instagram sure knows how to use it.
On a recent playdate with Barbara my “mommy friend” and her son, this happened :
“OMG Maha what are you going to do if your kid chokes?” “Who will save him? “
Barbara had just found out that I don’t have my CPR certification and she’s shook!
Ok, I know I shouldn’t feel like the worst mom on earth but I kind of do. I just haven’t had the time to take that CPR class that I’ve been meaning to take for years now. I hope that if my kid does choke my motherly instincts will kick in and I will know what to do at that time. Thank god that hasn’t happened but if it does than Barbara, my “mommy friend”, I hope you’re with me and you can be my kids hero and save him.*eye roll*
All joking aside, I know in my heart that I will never be able to bake and ice a 7 layer cake and since I have a really short attention span, meditation is not gong to happen. Techie YouTube tutorials are boring as hell so definitely no JLO booty for me.
As lighthearted as my new years resolutions are, there is a stigma attached to them that If I didn’t accomplish these goals I was not worthy or I was lazy or I didn’t care enough for child’s health and safety. With every year that went by and I still hadn’t scratched any of them off my list I would fall into the world of self-loathing. This is a terrible, terrible place for me to be in because no one knew I was there therefore no one could get me out of it.
I am approaching 2018 with an open mind and heart because my mental health is no joke and neither is yours. I’m making a conscious effort to nourish and take better care of it. I had to burn out fast to learn that failure ( yes, I used the “F” word) is normal and a big part of life.
I swallowed my pride the moment I started to write this article and share my insecurities with you all. I’m at peace with this because I know I am not alone here. Moving forward, I will definitely be faced with many failures and to no surprise I will get up , try again, probably fail again, but then with perseverance succeed and I will do this all with balanced physical , mental and spiritual health 🙂
You only live once people, so make it a good one. Eat your cake, hug your family, take a vacation and be spontaneous but most of all please be genuine and kind to yourself ! You don’t have to be a superhero like Barbara, just be you!
Cheers to you and your family and I wish you an amazing 2018!!
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